Here is a way to decide whether or not to help your mom folding sheets for 40 minutes!
I know, this topic is a little teen, but the tools I mention here are useful for many different kinds of situations. So, hang on there!
First, ask yourself. Do you love your mom? The answer, even if you need a little time to get to this conclusion, is YES. You do! If for some reason you don’t like her at the moment, this is because there are many things you both are stumbling on in your relationship.
So, you love your mom. She thinks you have to help her to fold sheets. No one says that you really have to help her. But she thinks you do. Ok. This is possible. You love her, so you have to admit that you have to dedicate time to this relationship as much as you have to dedicate time to every relationship that you care about. This is an example of commitment and care.
(Not mentioning that, if you live together, taking responsibilities for the house tasks is also your job. But this is not what we are focusing on here. Let’s assume that this is not your task.)
She needs help and you decide that you should do it for her! Not based on her statements like ‘You have to help me!’, but on your very idea that this is the best thing to do based on the fact that you care for her.
This is the first step for making the best out of this situation, namely, be aware of your own power and your own decision. Your own power of helping her and of deciding to do so. You choose to do that. Period.
How do you get to choose that?
Is this important to me?
Is this important to someone I love?
Is it important to me to care for someone I love?
Do I have something more important to do?
How can I know what’s more important?
Is it important for me to care for someone I love more than it is important for me to do my preferable activity?
It might be the case that the answer to this last question is no.
I, for example, would prefer working on my texts than helping my mom folding the sheets.
In this case, you should be able to set the limits of how much you wanna work on your things and how much time you wanna dedicate to your relationships. Being aware of the consequences that each choice is gonna bring.
Once you do that, you can justify your choice for her, but mainly, for yourself! And, more importantly. Be fine with it!
Once you are fine with your choice, you are ready to stand what comes next: either the boring task or perhaps her disappointment for you not helping her.
We will talk about this (other people’s disappointments) in another post. Keep tuned!
With all the best wishes,